Curious about using a sex toy on or alongside your partner? Here are five reasons to stop wondering and start playing.
When it comes to sex, too many people tend to focus all of their interest and energy on the physical act of penetration rather than realizing the body is a complex machine that needs to be revved up, worked out, and cooled down…like a great workout. And, like most workout routines, almost every trainer will tell you that varying your way and throwing in a few tools help make that workout better, more rounded, and ultimately more rewarding!
Mutual masturbation with sex toys is that secret tool to spice up your sex life, understand each other’s desires even better, and forge a deeper level of trust and connection. Masturbation allows you to better understand your body; sex toys are the tools that facilitate that understanding, and engaging in this activity with your partner can help you take your relationship to new dimensions. This article describes 5 reasons for masturbating with sex toys as a couple.
#1. Learning and Teaching
Most of us have a good idea of what we like to do when we masturbate. How and where we like to touch ourselves, how we stroke or penetrate, how fast or how deep, and so on. We know what toys we enjoy, and maybe we have a wish list for new toys.
But do our partners know? Shouldn’t they? Opening ourselves up and talking about our sexual needs and our need for and enjoyment of masturbation is an important part of being sexually open with our partners and acknowledging the need for self-love and sex as a couple.
This also allows the opportunity to converse with partners that may be skeptical of sex toys. A way to show that these toys bring enjoyment different from what we receive through our partners. And, coachable moment, that toys can heighten a sexual connection with your partner as they allow them new ways to pleasure be pleasured.
#2. Show and Tell
Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “lay all your cards on the table”? Well, why not lay out all your sex toys?! From the conventional vibrator and dildo to butt plugs, nipple clamps, cock strokers, and our favorite Namii, Biird’s 2-in-1 suction and vibration clitoral stimulator made from ultra-soft silicone…heck, why not raid the kitchen while you are at it and show off what you can really do with those veggies.
Take stock of what toys you have and have an open conversation about how and why each is important, how they make you feel, and what others you may like to try… alone and with your partner, the how and where, and why!
#3. Changing it Up
One of the best advantages to masturbating with sex toys with your partner is that they enhance the fun of sex by changing the game. Most couples eventually settle into a routine wherein the how, where, and what of sex is somewhat a given. In those instances, masturbating with sex toys together can be a great way of saying to each other; this is playtime.
This can also be a great time to explore new toys and new sexual experiences and pleasures. Most couples know and understand what a dildo or vibrator is, and most have a set understanding of how to use it…on her when she is alone. But with your partner beside you, a vibrator or dildo have many more options, such as:
- Using the vibrator/dildo to stimulate the vagina or clitoris while your partner uses their hands, mouth, and penis to stimulate your breasts, mouth, anus, etc.
- Using the vibrator/dildo to pleasure your male partner through the anus further stimulates his prostate- whether as a prostate massage, milking, or deeper penetrative movements while he or you masturbate the penis.
- Using double-headed dildos/vibrators to stimulate one partner’s vagina and anus or each other's vagina(s) and/or anus(es).
Similar choices exist for many other sex toys. With Namii, for example, Biird’s new 2-in-1 clitoral sucker made from ultra-soft silicone, you may find that its vibration and sucking features are great for her nipples, clitoris, and vagina but also stimulating for his nipples, cock, and perineum.
#4. Giving and Taking Control
One of the best parts of masturbating together as a couple is that we can give over a part of what is generally a solitary experience. We trust our partner with what we like and how. One of the other best parts is allowing them to take that knowledge and run with it!
Giving or taking control from our partners as they masturbate can be a deeply sexy move. A way of saying that we want to help pleasure them. Furthermore, for many people, pleasure denial can be deeply sexy. You can use sex toys to get your partner revved up, and just as they’re about to climax, you can take the sex toy away, make them cool down, beg for more, and then go right back into it. If you have trouble extending the length of your sexual play, sex toys can help you extend the length of the experience.
#5. Staying Connected From Afar
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, sex toys can allow you to stay together and remain intimate as a couple. Just because you’re separated by distance doesn’t mean you can’t pleasure each other. Some sex toys come with remote controls, allowing you to control each other’s pleasure from afar.
You can engage in mutual masturbation while video-calling each other. And you can take that opportunity to use sex toys that the other person can control wirelessly. This allows you to masturbate and pleasure each other, using the sex toy as a surrogate.
Masturbating with sex toys can offer all kinds of pleasures to couples. It can be practical, allowing both of you to pleasure each other from afar, or it can offer emotional benefits, helping you better appreciate each other.
